1. I am not nesting.
Nesting is for people who read parenting magazines, and articles and calculate their due dates and know how many weeks pregnant they are all the time. Maybe slowing down and not being able to finish and do everything during pregnancy makes people realize their house look like a dump and they feel the need to clean up. Or maybe the inevitability of life changing events starts to dawn on the pregnant woman and she feels the need to do something about it. Nesting is not for people who live in a perpetual state of crisis from one day to the next. To them nesting seems like another stupid thing, forced by societal pressure on to their “to do” list and so they would rather just make a sandwich and text their sister.
2. I have not taken any prenatal classes.
Prenatal classes are for people who have a lot of time, child care, and probably have never attended one before, so they don’t realize what a total waste of time they usually are. Unless you are doing some weird ball special stuff like hypnosis birthing or giving birth around dolphins, I don’t see what class can prepare you for actually giving birth. A quick review of signs and symptoms of normal labor, and a knowledge of what is definitely wrong and not supposed to happen should be sufficient. Classes might be useful in building some confidence in those who are having their first baby. If you are actively exercising before pregnancy you will remain active during. No amount of kegel exercises will help avoid the pain of pushing a human out of a coin sized hole.
My pain management technique last time was to keep walking around waiting for my sons’ therapy session to end and for someone to come pick him up. That kind of worked. When it was too difficult I sat in a tub of hot water. So I made it up as I went along and it worked. I made it to the hospital minutes before my daughter crowned. Because Allah is cool like that.
3. I have bought no new baby stuff.
Because someone gave me hand me downs and I don’t stereotype genders by color in the first year of life. I didn’t buy formula and bottles because breast feeding saves time, money and makes healthy humans. I have no new baby furniture because we just had a baby last year.
However I do need to get ear plugs.
4. I am not preparing any food and freezing it.
Because most days I don’t have food prepared to eat today, so where would I find the time to prepare and freeze stuff for later?? Plus pita smeared with almond butter and honey is a fine meal.
5. I have sort of prepared my home birth bin and my hospital bags.
Because I am cool like that. And also because there is not much in them. Half the things people want you to take to the hospital you don’t need. What you desperately need during labor is privacy and after giving birth is some decent food. Both of which you never get at the hospital, unless you have loads of money and can get a private hospital, or someone waiting on you and delivering you meals at odd times of the day.
6. I have not prepared my children for the new arrival.
Because one is 1 year old, and the other has autism and doesn’t have a clue what I am talking about. So far every time I have asked him if he wants a new baby, he has said “new baby” (which means yes).
7. I have not guaranteed post natal support.
Because I am not sure if my mother will be able to fly half way around the world to be here for me and if she does then for how long. I don’t know anyone who can hang around and manage my affairs. So far the plan is that I will have a normal birth and manage my affairs myself, much like the last time.
8. I have not prepared any baby art work, journals or scrap books.
Because I am not very sentimental and I couldn’t be bothered the first time so why would I bother now for my third?
9. I have faith in God coming through for me, because He always does.
10. I keep stocking my fridge with dates.
Because every smart person knows that you can’t give birth without dates.
And so I am ready as I am ever gonna be for a new baby (minus the ear plugs).
You have already successfully delivered two babies. You are ready regardless of what the world thinks.
ReplyDeleteAnother baby, how exciting. Happy birthing :)
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine exactly how you feel but I identify with many of those statements. I thought quite a few of those things right before I added numbver three to the mix. We were (and are) always in crisis mode and always on our own. When I broke my arm in the third trimester and we could not find anyone to drive me home from the hospital it was a pivotal moment. Mark bundled the kids into the car at 1 am and came to get me. At that point we decided to stop looking for help from people who say "I wish there was something I could do to help".
ReplyDeleteHaving number 3 is not easy but it is easier than 1 and 2. For me I found adding number 3 was not too much harder at first because allt he baby needed was to nurse and be held. As her needs became more dynamic it got more difficult because of a major issue with Sam's behaviors (not connected to the baby) and jealousy from the other. Now it is getting easier because the middle child id becoming veyr independent and the baby is as well. The difficulty now is finding ways to give my middle child the social experiences she craves but can't get while Sam is around.
Best of luck to you. I am praying you have an easy birth.