When thoughts overwhelm a person, they will often seek seclusion. In our case really it was a series of realizations, life changing events (having baby) and need to critically analyse our state that led me to stop doing most of my extra curricular things (one of them being blogging).
Realizations
Going through my posts I realized I was not proud of most of them.There was much ingratitude, ignorance and whining, however subtle or hidden between lines, it was there.
There was over sharing. There is a fine line between honesty and stupidity.
Our words will be the most formidable testimony against us before God on the last day, and I have not done very well in that department. Hence the desperate need for reform in every aspect of expression. This is a work in progress and very difficult.
Speaking without complete or accurate knowledge. This is a very grave sin and I want to avoid it God willing.
Seeking the approval of people. If I am questioning why I really wrote a post, best to not post it.
A mission to do everything to please Allah, made me realize I am seriously unequipped to go on such a mission due to my lack of knowledge of my religion.
Reform
If you are one of my (handful of) regular readers then you will notice many posts missing. They have been removed.
I am going to, inshaAllah (God willing), try to use my blogging and any Internet presence to either provide some service to the people and to please Allah. Again figuring out how is difficult, especially if you feel you have nothing to provide!
The blog therefore will try, its best, to fulfil this purpose to please Allah, instead of being a sad ode to the trials of life.
I am also on another mission of self -improvement for the sake of Allah, so I may not have time, but hey I have already done three posts in one week, so maybe I will make the time!
Raising awareness for autism
Why are we raising awareness? What will it accomplish for autistic individuals? A very important question and what is the best way to go about raising awareness without complaining and therefore being ungrateful about the blessings Allah has given to my family, that is going to be a real challenge. How to talk about autism with the correct Islamic perspective?
Going beyond talking, and translating awareness in to action. This is me getting ahead of myself, because until we carve out a definite picture of our purpose in life in relation to our Creator, how can we be off any use to anyone else around us? Have to do the basic stuff first and maybe Allah will help me figure out the rest.
So thank you for coming back and I will try to keep my promise of replacing the old with a better new!
Please feel free to email or post ideas on how you feel I can start to reach some of my goals - say anything!
Bariah I will take the liberty in saying that in my opinion your older blogs as you call them whinning were not entirely without purpose as in reaching out to the people and in actually admitting how weak we humans actually are.They were a form of catharsis for you and it connected you with many other human beings in similar conditions and if not doing much at least sharing and letting them know that they are not alone.Personally I believe that the change you have felt personally and your newer ambition is also a result of this form of writing that you did.getting it all out in the open with utter honesty has made you a better person.Sometimes we are very much unaware of which one our acts becomes our salvation and becomes which pleases Allah.
ReplyDeleteBestest wishes on your endeavores
wardah
I am not one to question that quiet nagging feeling in the heart that comes from above. I like what Charlotte Mason has to day about these things. In her day, this motto floated in the air, "Sow an act, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; a character, reap a destiny." She added, "But we must go a step further back, we must sow the idea or notion which makes the act worth while." When our thought life changes, then our acts change and what we share changes. Change is not easy!
ReplyDeleteWhat do these thoughts reflect? I think they reflect our hearts. Hearts turned toward our Creator will think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy. Hearts turn toward ourselves tend to turn toward sinfulness.
The hard part is translating that into real life on those really difficult days we face with our kids. It is not easy to think of something lovely when your five-year-old in diapers had an explosion and the evidence is wafting in the air and dripping down the leg. BUT, in the end, it humiliated me and humbled me. That is what I needed to turn away from self and turn to someone greater.
I agree with the comments above- dont be so hard on yourself... you had to write what you did, the way you did- for you to be where you are today.
ReplyDeleteThere is wisdom in everything... and Allah knows best.
While honesty is the best policy, I will say that I can relate to you in giving away too much. Only because this has caused me stress at times. I realized that not all things need to be shared. People dont need to know everything- sometimes when they know too much, it stirs up too much everything. Too many questions. Too many concerns. Too many followers. Too many emotions about your situation.
I dont know if much of it is positive... while people may mean well. It does not always come out the right way.
As for blogging duties- you are very right about being held accountable for what we say and what is written for us because of what we said. Jazakallah khair for the reminder.
Still- try not to give up the "rawness" of your writing, you real, honest and tell it how it is.
Thats what makes you... YOU ;)
I loved the raw posts. Maybe because I am prone to cynicism and feeling jaded so I could relate to much of what you wrote....but I know that sometimes the stress can be too much. A new perspective is good and focusing on the positive is better for our spirit. I'm happy you are back in the blogosphere.
ReplyDelete