But he mostly perseverates on his plastic ToysRus doll house now.
So I got some boxes I found lying outside no frills and decided to make our own doll house (without the bells and sounds).
I did not involve K in the making of it. He does not have the regulation to assist me in a task like this yet and I could not think of any way to scaffold it. We have to wait a few years for that I think. I thought, I will just get him to paint it with me.
Painting the doll house turned out to be a failure. K preferred to just stim with the paintbrush. He is quite clever in his stims he makes them "fit" the activity.
So he would dip the paintbrush in the pot several times and fiddle with it before putting it to the cardboard. Then he would just grind the paintbrush in to the cardboard instead of making any kind of strokes. Hand over hand resulted in protest and screams, or he would just loosen his grip and look away (i.e. put me on extinction).
Anyway, I took lots of breaks and just soldiered on with this activity pretty much all of Saturday and early Sunday morning.
I tried stamps, stencils, different brushes. Nothing worked. The more I tried to control his stim, the worse the interaction became.
I wanted to shake him and say I am not asking you to talk, recite the alphabet, socialize or even look at me or sit. Just make a few bloody strokes with the paintbrush. But at the hospital where he was born, they told us not to shake the baby (or throw a cardboard doll house at him) so yeah.
So I screamed at my husband, took a walk in the bitter cold and had a cappuccino by myself.
- Do not get emotionally invested in or excited about any activity you choose to do with your child. This results in expectations, and possible disappointment. Which results in blame (either directed at yourself, any other random person that may be in the room, or worse at your child).
- Do not put off getting your eyebrows waxed on the weekend just so you can make a doll house, because when you fail, every time you look in the mirror at your bushy eyebrows, you will feel more disappointment.
Anyway, I am packing the paints away for now. Just like I did with the drums, and the tennis balls and going back to sorting laundry with him, making cookies and other patterned activities.
So we have a cardboard doll house sitting around, if anyone wants one. I installed a rug on the top floor, and I can make it look prettier if there are any interested parties.